Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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