So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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