i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
