I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's never too late to be topless.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
