i think i have herpe
just one?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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