I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
