He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
