Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
