pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
