The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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