they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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