I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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