I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
