I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
My apartment stinks of burning failure
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
