Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
