We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So squirting runs in the family.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
