Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize