All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
