i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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