Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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