She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You work out of a Hotel?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize