"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
