so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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