i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
That was an excessively violent trivia night
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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