I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
