Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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