it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
