This is not my ceiling
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
