hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
