She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He has the fingertips of a God
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