Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
