She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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