I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
