508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
