dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
