She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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