this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
