he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
