Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
