she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
