Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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