4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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