so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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