i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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