their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
