Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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