Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
