I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize