people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
