I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
you made out with another girl for some wings
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
