Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
