You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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