think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
