Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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