I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
operation harelip BJ is a go
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
