the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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