she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
