Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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