So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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